Twenty-four Rooms and a Grain Elevator

Someone once said that a house reflects the personality of the owner.

My father’s house has twenty-four rooms including a dark room.

There are thirteen closets.

There’s a grain elevator.

There’s a fish tank in the wall behind the wet bar.

There’s a barn with a twisting sidewalk that the cement mixers originally assumed was a mistake.

There’s an automatic curtain-lowering machine, but instead of a curtain there’s a bed sheet.

There’s a bidet available.

There’s a hidden compartment underneath the wine rack in case you need to hide valuables.

There’s an artificial window in the basement to make it not seem like a basement.

There’s a light switch in the front closet so you don’t have to go outside to plug in the Christmas lights.

There are heaters under the driveway so you don’t have to shovel snow.

There’s a bridge.

There’s a swordfish above the couch.

There’s a huge barbecue made out of a barrel cemented into the ground.

There’s a tiny microphone in the bird feeder that let’s you hear the birds even when the window is shut.

There’s a picture of the outside of the house on the inside of the house to remind you what the outside of the house looks like when you’re inside the house.

Someone once said that a house reflects the personality of the owner.

I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.